From Addiction & Compulsion to Strong, Sober,Secure. Talking Men's Work w Stone Thrower, Stone James

Around Aotearoa we’re seeing a renaissance of strong, grounded men who’ve done their own deep work of awakening, and are now using their lived experience to awhi (support) other men, each in their own authentic way. In this kōrero, I talk to one of those men. Wes ‘Stone’ James has found resolve in his personal battle with compulsion and addiction to help other men get ‘strong, sober and secure’.

Stone was one of the team who gathered to help anchor in the first Aotearoa Men’s Wellbeing Summit and returns again 14-16 May for the 2026 Summit in Opoutere.

Stone’s kaupapa is Stone Thrower Health and Fitness where his motto is ‘Challenge by Choice’ taking men out of their comfort zone to step into radical honesty. Stone shares with an openness and vulnerability about his own mental breakdown in 2020 and how it was the gateway to an awakening journey. He has used tools little cold water immersion, meditation and extreme edges of physicality like ‘gravel rolling’ - yes you heard it, to help men transition from numbness and addiction to feeling again. In this kōrero we cover: -Stone’s journey to 1614 days sober or as he would say ‘banking the numbers - doing the apprenticeship of sobriety’ -Getting back in touch with feelings - what getting sober has uncovered -Finding comfort in the darkness -The rollercoaster of awakening, and what it has uncovered -How the real work is only just beginning -The illumination of sobriety - the good things, but also the shadow work -The fruits of a sober life -The unknown of what will come to the surface in a well held mens space -Whakapapa of the word ‘Vulnerable’ - being susceptible to wounding -How we need to step past our Kiwi culture of telling men to ‘harden up’ -Reflecting on the 2025 Aotearoa Men’s Wellbeing Summit and the highlights for Stone - the ampitheatre of the Coromandel, Opoutere and the magic of the whenua the event was held on - the opportunity to connect deeply into nature -What Stone loves about Taranaki where he holds his own spaces -How often do we get a chance to ask ourselves ‘Who Am I?’ -What is your Compulsion - a talk about Addicition -Radical self responsibility and what that means -What is a good man? Reflecting on being strong, sober and secure - and having a sense of adventure -Stone talks about his own mental breakdown in 2020 and the tools he used to transition through this gateway to awakening -Staying present while dancing with the cold -Going to extreme edges of physicality to feel again -Where the ‘gravel roll’ originated -Challenge by choice - and what that means Both Stone and Carl reflect on The Aotearoa Men’s Wellbeing Summit - last year and the upcoming event, and their own ‘go-to’ medicines to find their own joy and wellbeing. A pleasure going deep with you Stone!